Beautician: Hi. How can we help you today?
Customer: Yeah. I’d like to get my hair trimmed a little. Uh, nothing fancy. Just a basic trim.
Beautician: Well, can we interest you in today’s special?
Customer: Uh. . . Nah, nah . . .
Beautician: Well, we’ll shampoo, cut, (and) style your hair for one unbelievable low price of $9.99 (nine ninety-nine). Plus, we’ll give you a clean shave and a back massage to help you relax.
Customer: Well, I . . . I don’t know. I don’t have much time, and . . .
Beautician: Best service in town!
Customer: Well, okay, I’ll have the complete service today, but as I said before, I just want to get my hair trimmed. A little off the top and the sides. That’s all. I mean, that’s all.
Beautician: No problem. Relax. You’re in good hands. Okay, here we go. Now, how does this thing work?
Customer: Huh? Wait. You know what you’re doing, right?
Beautician: Relax, sir, relax. I’ve been doing this for ten [cough] [Ten what?] Sit back and relax. So, what do you do for a living?
Customer: I’m a lawyer, specializing in workplace accidents, and I’m in town for a very important job interview, and . . .
Beautician: Oops.
Customer: What do you mean oops. Hey, can I see a mirror?
Beautician: Nothing to worry about, sir. Relax. I’m just making some adjustments to the hair trimmer. There we are. Okay . . .
Customer: Ow, ow! That hurt. That really hurt! What are you doing anyway?
Beautician: Nothing to worry about, sir. Relax.
Customer: That’s what you just said a minute ago, and look at all of my hair on the floor. And how much are you really cutting off? And where’s a mirror?
Beautician: Oh. And time for the shampoo. Just lean back, and we’ll wash your hair away.
Customer: You mean what’s left of it?
Beautician: Relax. [Your favorite word . . .] Relax.
Customer: Hey, hey, ah, hey, and you got shampoo in my eyes. I can’t see. Where’s the towel?
Beautician: Relax, sir, relax. I’m almost finished.
Customer: Yeah, just wait till I get finished with you!
Beautician: Okay, okay, now let’s dry your hair, uh, put a little styling gel in it, and now style it with a blow dryer and brush. voila!
Customer: He-Hey, what happened to my hair? You butchered it! And what’s left of my hair turned purple. What kind of prank are you trying to pull here anyway? And are you even a licensed beautician?
Beautician: Well, sir. We offer a money-back guarantee of all our work, so if you’re not completely satisfied . . .
Customer: Satisfied? I’m anything but satisfied. I want to talk to the manager . . . now!
Beautician: I’m sorry, but he’s on vacation, and he left me in charge, so if you . . .
Customer: How in the world am I supposed to go to my job interview looking like this? Forget it, forget it. Is there any place in this town that can give a decent haircut and fix this damage?
Beautician: Well, my brother works next door, and he offers a complete package for . . . .
Customer: I know, I know, nine, ninety-nine. I’ve had it. Forget I even asked.
