Woman: James, JAMES! Wake up!
Man: What? Why did you wake me up?
Woman: It is 2:00 in the afternoon.
Man: Only 2:00? I’m going back to bed.
Woman: No, you have to get up. You will be late for that class again.
Man: Ah, can’t you just take notes for me again?
Woman: No, I did that last time, and I am not doing that again. You need to get more sleep and get into a better routine.
Man: Routine? Like what?
Woman: Yeah. You should get up no later than 6:30.
Man: 6:30?
Woman: That gives you plenty of time for a 30-minute workout.
Man: You (‘ve) got to be joking! No way. And I already exercised. I turn off the alarm clock, and it takes a lot of strength and endurance to get up at that unspeakable hour.
Woman: You need to get to bed no later than 9:00.
Man: Ni . . . Nine?
Woman: Yes, you need at least eight hours of sleep . . . that’s what science says. and sleeping in class does NOT count. Going to bed at 3:00 in the morning is a terrible way to live. I mean, how many hours do you even get?
Man: Well, wait. I get about five hours . . . wait, wait, well? Four hours, [If you’re generous] or, or, or . . . well, sometimes, three, but I do better on less sleep. And I don’t want to sleep my life away.
Woman: No, this is unbelievable. You need sleep. Caffeine isn’t an acceptable substitute. I have seen you fall asleep while driving . . . James, James. Do NOT fall asleep while I’m talking to you.
Man: I’m not. I’m just resting my eyes.
Woman: Oh, oh, sure, fine, fine. Yo . . . You fail that class . . . see if I care.