Dad: Hey. What are you doing home this weekend? I thought classes didn’t end until next week.
Daughter: Hey, Dad. I . . . I love you.
Dad: Ah, the three magic words: I NEED HELP! I’ve, I’ve heard those before.
Daughter: We . . . we‘d better sit down.
Dad: Uh, this doesn’t sound good.
Daughter: First of all . . . hey, is that painting on the wall new?
Dad: No, no, no, no, no. Let’s get back to the conversation now.
Daughter: Oh, okay, first of all, I’m failing all of my classes, I lost my job, I wrecked my car, I mean, your car last week. It’s at the bottom of a lake . . . I, I think, and the laptop I borrowed from you . . . [Yeah?] well, it was in the backseat of the car. That’s all [of] the good news.
Dad: Uh, wait . . .
Daughter: Y . . .You’re not saying anything . . .
Dad: Okay. Now, what’s the bad news?
Daughter: Well, I just found out that my old boyfriend was a member of a gang; he says that he and 20 of his friends are gonna come over here to talk about what you’ve posted on their Facebook page.
Dad: I don’t even have a Facebook page!
Daughter: Well, you do now. [Oh!] I have to go. I’d rather not be here [in] about 20 minutes. Love you. Bye.
Dad: Ugh!!