Patient: Hi. Dr. Hyde?
Dentist: So, what seems to be the problem today?
Patient: Well, I just came in for a check-up and a dental cleaning.
Dentist: Hum. Open up. Let’s take a look . . .
Patient: Okay. Uh . . .
Dentist: Hummmm. [Uh? Uh?] Wow! I’ve never seen one like THIS before. Let me try this.
Patient: Uhhh . . . Ouhhhh [Man screaming in pain . . .]
Dentist: Well, besides a lot of plaque buildup, there’s a major cavity in one of your wisdom teeth. [I feel that.] Hadn’t this given you any trouble?
Patient: Well, the tooth has been bothering me, and it sometimes hurts when I drink something cold. Does it look that bad?
Dentist: Well, we’re going to have to remove the decay, and then we need to put in a filling, or if the decay is extensive, we can’t repair it, we might have to put in a crown on your tooth. Or as a last resort, we’ll have to extract the tooth.
Patient: Uh, well, that sounds painful!
Dentist: Don’t worry. I’ve done this . . . once before. [Huh?] Nah, just relax.
Patient: Wait! Aren’t you supposed to give me something to dull the pain?
Dentist: Uh, chicken. Oh yeah. I almost forgot. We can either use a local anesthetic or nitrous oxide . . . laughing gas . . . to minimize the discomfort you might feel. Or you can just grin and bear it.
Patient: Nah, nah, nah, nah! Put me under! [Yeah, I thought so.] I can’t stand pain, and I’d rather not be aware of what’s going on. And, if I need a filling, can I get one that looks like my other teeth?
Dentist: If we can save the tooth with a filling, I recommend a high-strength silver alloy filling instead of the porcelain one. It’ll probably last a lot longer.
Patient: Okay, well whatever. Let’s get it over with.
Dentist: Okay, pleasant dreams. Drill, please.