Susan: Hi. Welcome back to Susan’s Gardening Show. I’m Susan, and we’re ready to take our next caller. We have Mark from Seattle. Are you still there, Mark?
Mark: Uh. Yeah, but maybe not for long.
Susan: So, how can we help you today?
Mark: Okay. Uh, my wife is really into gardening, and about five years ago, she received a beautiful climbing rose bush . . . I think an Agatha Christie [That’s a nice one.] from her mother who has passed away. And anyway, the rose plant seems to be on its last leg.
Susan: Really? Normally, that rose is really quite hardy, and [I know.] it’s very disease-resistant, too. [I know.] So, what’s the problem?
Mark: Well, this situation ISN’T normal. You see, about a week ago, I was doing some yard work, and I was using some weed killer, [UH-oh.] yeah, to try to get rid of some terrible weeds and . . .
Susan: Did you spray the roses?
Mark: Well, not e- not exactly. I set the spray container down near the roses while I was trimming a bush, and the container must have gotten knocked over, and the weed killer soaked into the ground near the roses.
Susan: How much weed killer are you talking about?
Mark: Uh, about six or seven quarts (about six liters or 1.6 gallons), I think. [Oh, that’s a lot.] You know, I . . . I mean [That’s a lot.] when you put . . . Yeah . . .
Susan: How are the roses? What do they look like now?
Mark: Oh, Dead, real dead. Dead as a doornail dead, but my wife hasn’t seen them yet.
Susan: Really? [Yeah, and I . . .] What have you done? Blindfolded her?
Mark: Well, I’ve kept her away from that side of the house where the roses are, [but] she is bound to see them at some point.
Susan: Yeah, yeah. You’ve got a problem.
Mark: I mean, is there anything I can do to revive ’em [them]?
Susan: Not unless you’re a magician.
Mark: Well, can you recommend a quick-growing variety that can take its place?
Susan: Mark. I’m sorry. You’ve made a mistake . . . A big mistake.
Mark: . . . except that my wife warned me this could happen . . . Oh, man.
Susan: Listen. You made a blunder. A big mistake. A really big mistake, but unless your wife goes on vacation for a couple of years, you’re not gonna [going to] be able to replace the roses that fast.
Mark: So, any recommendation? I mean, what do I do?
Susan: You need to talk to her.
Mark: Are you kidding? You . . . you don’t know my wife.
Susan: I’m sorry. Look. [Ah.] You’ve waited long enough. Don’t let the grass grow around your feet. Say something, but be sure to hide the garden shears before you do. Kneel down; ask for her forgiveness now.
Mark: But that’s what I did when I killed her prized apple tree last year.
Susan: No way. Really?
Mark: Oh, man. Oh! She’s coming in from outside. [Oh, no, oh, no.]
Susan: One final word: Hide the weed killer. [But . . .] Thanks, Mark. That’s all the time we have for now. Let’s move on to our next caller.