Daughter: Uh, Dad. Are you going to miss me when I leave for college next week?
Daughter: No, Dad . . . seriously. I mean you're always talking about how much money you'll save on food, hot water, and gas while I am gone.
Father: Of course I will . . . no, uh, well, I'll miss you, of course. No, honestly, I'll miss and worry about you, and you've really tried to prepare yourself. You know, I'm proud of you for that. You know, getting a university degree is a real accomplishment.
Father: But, let's go over the to-do list. Do you have everything ready? I mean, did you pay your tuition and housing fees by the deadline? [Yeap.] Because, you know, if you don't, you'll lose your class schedule, and you have to register all over again.
Daughter: Yeah, I paid for that a few days ago.
Father: Okay, did you sign up for the meal plan at the university so you don't have to eat instant noodles everyday?
Daughter: Yeap. But Mom said I could take some food from home to get me started.
Father: Uhhh, well, yeah. The oatmeal is in the pantry.
Daughter: Dad! Mom said I could take a bag of rice, some canned food, and . . .
Father: . . . and grandpa's old army rations.
Daughter: Ugh! Not that old stuff. Mom!
Father: Okay, okay. And you know you should set up an appointment to meet with your academic advisor to help you select future classes, right? [Yeah.] You know, business administration will be a great major for you.
Daughter: Well, Dad, uh . . .
Father: And future possibilities . . . a great salary, opportunities to make a difference in the community, and [Dad. I changed my major.] supporting . . .
Father: What? You changed you major . . . you switched majors!?
Daughter: Yeah. I really thought about it. After talking it over with Mom, I've decided to major in wildlife science.
Father: What? What are you talking about?
Daughter: Yeah. I want to degree in wildlife science. You know, analyzing, maintaining, and conserving national forests and wildlife.
Father: What? Uh, uhh . . .
Daughter: Dad. You can close your mouth now. I mean, I've ALWAYS been interested in working with nature; [Well.] You know that, and this field will give me the opportunity to live out my dream. [Well . . . ] I've also looked through the online university catalog, and I actually qualify for a two-year, full tuition scholarship.
Father: Wait. When did this all happen?
Daughter: I can even go on to graduate school and further my education . . . after Todd and I get married, of course.
Father: Graduate school . . . Todd? Wait, wait, wait!! Who's Todd? Ah, what's next?
Daughter: Thanks for the credit card. Mom said it was a present. And I just tried it out to make sure it worked, and I had no problem buying my new laptop computer. [Oh, I'm doomed!] Uh, Dad, where are you going?
Father: Uh, I've decided to enroll in night school to get another degree. That's the only way I'm going to pay for your college.