Bank Teller: Hi. How can I help you?|
Robber: Uh, this is a stick-up . Put all the money in this bag . . . now.
Bank Teller: What? What are you talking about? I'm going to get the manager.
Robber: Wait! I have a gun.
Bank Teller: Where?
Robber: In . . . in my pocket . . . see?
Bank Teller: What? Ah, that's not a gun. That's your hand made to look like a gun.
Robber: That's what you think, so don't do anything funny . . . and don't press any alarms. Nothing. Just put the money in the bag.
Bank Teller: Okay, but I only have a few dollars and some loose change in my register.
Robber: I don't care. Just stuff it in this bag.
Bank Teller: I mean, you could make more money setting up a lemonade stand outside the bank and selling each cup for twenty-five cents.
Robber: I don't care! Give me the money NOW. Good grief!
Bank Teller: Okay, okay. You don't have to get all worked up about it. Let's see. [Come on!] Let's see . . . Here are a few ones [Come on . . . hurry up!!], a couple of tens. . . . some coins. [Come on!] Oh, look! Here's an old 1935 penny. I haven't seen one of those in a while.
Robber: Come on! Stop the chit-chat and fill the bag.
Bank Teller: Okay, okay. Cranky, aren't we. Oh, your bag has a small hole in it. Let me get you a new one.
Robber: Small hole . . . big hole. I don't care. Put the money in your sock if you have to.
Bank Teller: Well, you see, I'm still in training as a new bank teller, and my boss is evaluating me today, so I have to do things just right, or the bank won't keep me on.
Robber: Ah, come on!
Bank Teller: Well, I'll be. It looks like someone's car is being towed out front. [Uh, what?] Poor devil. [Oh, ahhh!] Boy, that's sure going to ruin someone's day. [Oh, man!] So, where were we? Okay, before I give you the bag of money, could you fill out this satisfaction survey rating your service today?
Robber: Augh! Does it look like I have any time for that?
Bank Teller: Ah, do me a favor! I'll even throw in an extra lollipop.
Robber: Ah, tell me this isn't happening to me! Look, this is supposed to be a bank robbery, and not an afternoon picnic.
Bank Teller: Alright. But I'd suggest you turn around now. Those nice police officers seem like they want to talk to you . . . or something.
Robber: Ah, everything's going wrong for me today!