Norman: Hey, neighbor. How's it going?
Shawn: Fine. How about you?
Norman: Okay. Huh, by the way, my wife and I are going out of town this weekend, and I was wondering if you could take care of some of our animals while we're gone. You know our dog, Jaws, don't you?
Shawn: Yeah. My leg still hurts from the last incident.
Norman: Hey, he's just a playful little beast.
Shawn: Right.
Norman: Hey, he likes to bark a little, and his bark is worse than his bite.
Shawn: Oh yeah.
Norman: Just feed him a can of dog food a day, and make sure he has plenty of water in his dish. [Oh] And then, take him for a walk around the block.
Shawn: Well, how about if I just throw a Frisbee over the fence to give him some exercise? Wouldn't that work?
Norman: Ah, and then, he likes to watch the 3:00 soap opera on Channel 4 [What?] . . . and brush his teeth after you give you some doggie treats around 4:00.
Shawn: Man, you really pamper your dog.
Norman: And, then brush his fur for about twenty minutes. He tends to shed this time of year. [Ah, what?] And then scratch him around the ears. Otherwise, he feels neglected.
Shawn: Is that it?
Norman: Well, and then there's Claws.
Shawn: Claws? Who's Claws.
Norman: Oh, he's the cat we adopted from the animal shelter, but he's a little temperamental.
Shawn: What do you mean "temperamental"?
Norman: Well, he has mood swings [Mood swings?], but he's been doing better since he's been going to the animal therapist.
Shawn: A therapist?
Norman: So, be sure to feed him a half cup of cat food two times a day [What? A therapist . . .], and don't forget to put out (on) some soft classical music during his nap time at 2:40 p.m. But don't let him out of the house because he might run away and chase the neighbor's dog.
Shawn: You have some high-maintenance animals.
Norman: Not really. And, don't forget to change the cat litter daily, or he might have an accident on the carpet. [Oh, great.] And finally, there's Buttercup.
Shawn: Buttercup? Who's Buttercu . . . ? I'm afraid to ask.
Norman: Ah, she's a sweetie [What?] . . . if you know how to handle her right. [Oh, great.] Wait. Let me get her for you. Here you are.
Shawn: That's . . . That's a snake . . .[Hold her.] That's a big snake with big fangs. Does the snake go to a therapist, too?
Norman: Of course not . . . just an anger-management class.
Shawn: Oh! What?
Norman: I'm joking. Buttercup is a very docile creature, and she never bites anyone she likes. If she doesn't, you'll know because she starts hissing and staring at you . . . . kind like what she's doing now.
Shawn: Well, I'm leaving. You must be going out of you mind to think I'm going to watch a zoo full of misunderstood animals. You'd better hire some professional help 'cause I wouldn't watch them even if you paid me a million dollars.
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