Man: Hi. I have a reservation for tonight, and I just want to check in.
Hotel Clerk: Sure. What’s your name?
Man: Uh. Mike Adams.
Hotel Clerk: Okay. Let me check here. Um. Here’s your key to open your door. You’re in room 360. Just walk [Okay.] down this hall, and you’ll see the elevators on your right.
Man: Oh, okay, and what time is the restaurant open for breakfast?
Hotel Clerk: It serves breakfast from 6:30-10 a.m.
Man: Oh, okay. And, uh, where’s the exercise room? I’d like to, you know, run a couple of miles before going to bed tonight.
Hotel Clerk: It’s on the second floor, and it’s open ’til 10 tonight, [Okay.] but the treadmill isn’t working.
Man: Oh, oh, well . . . Um, and one final question. Do you have wireless internet in the rooms?
Hotel Clerk: We DO [Ah!] . . . for $7.95 a night.
Man: Uhhh, I thought something like that would be free.
Hotel Clerk: No, sorry, sir but you can get free wireless access if you sit in the parking lot on the north side. [Oh!] You see, the hotel next to us has wireless and . . .
Man: Oh, great. Um, and uh . . . oh, forget that. And every room has a refrigerator, right?
Hotel Clerk: Well, we can have one put in your room for an additional $10 a night.
Man: Ahhhh. I thought something like that would be included in the price of the room.
Hotel Clerk: Sorry, sir.
Man: Well, you know, it . . . it kind of irks me when hotels nickel-and-dime their customers like this. I mean, I checked with several . . . I mean I checked with several (hotels) . . .
Hotel Clerk: You really should have checked this one too, shouldn’t you have, buddy.
Man: [Laughing] I . . . I guess that I . . . I’m all flustered now. I mean all the other hotels provide these amenities for free.
Hotel Clerk: Sorry, sir. It’s just the way it is at this hotel.
Man: And the bed? Is that extra too?
Hotel Clerk: Of course . . . NOT.
Man: Oh. I’ve had it. I’ll just try the hotel across the street. I’m sure they’ll . . . they’ll give me better service.
Hotel Clerk: Okay, but you’ll be canceling your reservation here, so we’ll have to charge you a cancellation fee of 50% of the cost of the room.
Man: Ahhhh, forget it. I can’t win either way. What’s my room again?
Hotel Clerk: Three sixty (360).
Man: Ughhhhhh!!!