Florist: Hi. May I help you?
Customer: Yeah. Um. You see, I need some flowers for my wife, and uh, and, you know, I . . .
Florist: Let . . . Let me guess. You forget your anniversary, and you're trying to make things up, right?
Customer: Oh. Yeah, is it that obvious?
Florist: Well, yeah. We see men like you all the time that are so involved in their work that they simply forget about us.
Customer: Well, in, in . . . in this case, it's not like that.
Florist: Sure. What do you need?
Customer: Well, uh, I'd like to get a dozen roses with some greenery, and a very nice card.
Florist: Do you really think a dozen roses is going to cut it?
Customer: Well, yeah . . .
Florist: I mean, if my husband forgot our anniversary, he'd be in the doghouse for sure. [Well . . .] You need at least two dozen roses, a dozen balloons, and a romantic evening at an expensive restaurant.
Customer: Well, I only have $10, and . . .
Florist: Ten dollars? Well, that will buy you a single rose and a hamburger at McDonalds, but that's it.
Customer: Uh, wait. I actually have twelve dollars and . . . wait, hang on, let me see here . . . thirty-two cents, so that might be . . .
Florist: Forget playing golf this weekend. Your wife is way more important.
Customer: Oh, no. OH, NO! My wife is out in the parking lot looking for me. Oh. And, and . . . she's looking this way. PLEASE, PLEASE. Help me! She'll wring my neck for sure.
Florist: Okay, Okay. Uh, let's see. Hum. [PLEASE, PLEASE!]. Well, well, it looks like I can arrange a small bouquet of roses. [Okay.] A couple are a little wilted [Oh, that's okay.], but that's the best I can do. [Oh, yes. Oh, yes. That's fine.] And I can also attach a small card and tie a nice ribbon around the flowers.
Customer: Oh, that would be great. You're a lifesaver. I'll put you on my Christmas card list forever.
Florist: Okay. Okay. That'll be twelve dollars even.
Customer: You're an angel. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, no. [What?] Now, she's parked in front of your store waiting for me. I'm dead meat. Do you have a back door?
Florist: No! It looks like you need to face the music and just talk to her. [I can't, I can't.] She'll probably be very understanding after you promise . . . [You don't know my wife.] Well, you need to promise to wash the dishes and clean the bathroom for the next six months. Get out there and be a man.
Customer: Could you call an ambulance . . . just in case? This could get ugly.