Driving Officer: Okay. Mr. Smith. Let’s begin your road test.
Mr. Smith: Oh. I know I’m ready. I’ve been practicing in my driveway all week.
Driving Officer: Okay. Mr. Smith. As I’m sure you are aware, you will not only be tested on your knowledge of the rules of the road, but on your behavior toward other motorists.
Mr. Smith: Okey-dokey.
Driving Officer: Okay. Now you can start your car.
Mr. Smith: Yeah, right. Here we go!
Driving Officer: Whoa! Take it easy. The speed limit in this business district is only 25 miles an hour. [Oh.] All right. Now, turn right at the next corner . . . [This corner?] Na, not here! Wow! You forgot to signal too!
Mr. Smith: Gosh. I didn’t see that one, and . . . Ah, Could you grab my cell phone under my seat? [Huh?] Nah, I’ll get it.
Driving Officer: Oh, Mr. Smith. Keep your eyes on the road!
Mr. Smith: Oh yeah.
Driving Officer: Okay. Now, pull over here and show me that you can parallel park.
Mr. Smith: Sure. Wait. Hey bud. Move your car. I was here first!
Driving Officer: Ah. Forget it. Just keep driving.
Mr. Smith: So, how am I doing? Can I take a peek at your notes?
Driving Officer: No! And, uh, watch out. Mr. Smith. Now you’re tailgating the vehicle in front of us.
Mr. Smith: Oh, yeah. I’m just so excited about getting my license today. [Right.]
Driving Officer: Okay. Now carefully, CAREFULLY turn right here, and wait, wait, WAIT . . . STOP!! You almost hit that pedestrian. How in the world did you pass the written test anyway? [Well . . .] You have to give way to any pedestrians crossing the street. Jeez!
Mr. Smith: Oh. sorry about that. It won’t happen again.
[Car screeching to a stop . . .]
Driving Officer: Whoa! Get out! [What?] Get out! I’m driving back to the office.
Mr. Smith: Does this mean I didn’t pass the test?
Driving Officer: Look, Mr. Smith. Could you do me a favor? When you come back to take the test again, plan on coming on Friday.
Mr. Smith: Again? Why? Is it less crowded that day?
Driving Officer: No. It’s my day off.